This suit is not
as comfortable as it looks. Nah, it doesn’t look
comfortable. -It does not look comfortable.
-I know. Some of the duct tape is getting… All right. Uh, a new iPhone case looks… -looks and feels
just like human skin. -Oh. -(Spade imitates vomiting)
-Ugh! It has a squishy texture
that reacts… -It reacts to poking,
pinching and tickling. -Oh! If you rub it,
you get an iPhone Plus, so… Who wants one? -Ugh. -Uh-uh.
-I know, it’s sickening. It looks like
the Charles Manson collection. (laughter) Is that it? -HALE: Yeah, that…
-FEIMSTER: That’s… Yeah. -That’s it?
-It looks like a loofah. It’s right… it’s right here. Oh. It’s the hand? That looks very real. -Put the lotion in the basket.
-Yeah. -Yeah. That seems like…
like, a government setup to catch… like, how
you would catch a serial killer. Like, “Who’s… who’s gonna
order the skin iPhone?” -“I am.” “Put him in jail.”
-SPADE: Yeah. Yeah. Mine’s at the dermatologist’s,
’cause I dropped it. It had scabs all over it. I’d like
to get the psoriasis phone. -That sounds nice.
-Yeah. Was it… was it made out of
fleshlights? It’s very weird. -What’s a fleshlight?
-What’s a fleshlight? -Oh, you don’t know?
-Me and Tony. -Me and Tony don’t know.
-You don’t know? -(applause)
-I don’t know. You notice, I didn’t ask
what a flesh… fleshlight… -I know what it is, yeah.
-HALE: Oh, okay. -SPADE: Listen, you got to get a black case,
’cause they don’t crack. All right.
I got it in. I got it in. -You did get it in. It’s good.
-(Spade sighs) In Brigham City, Utah,
a family received complaints for putting up
a disturbing Halloween display. So let’s put it on TV
to disturb you. (laughter) It’s pretty rough. Uh, that’s actually
not “murder” backwards. They’re actually
giving away red rum. -(laughter)
-But isn’t that rough? It’s a fun way to… This next one reminds people
to get their flu shots. -(audience groans)
-That’s his arm. -WOLF: And in Utah!
-SPADE: In Utah. And yet,
they don’t drink Pepsi there. -Maybe we should…
-Yeah. do baby steps on decapitating
kids, you know what I mean? That’s Utah, where your drug
dealer sells 5-hour Energy. (laughter) -Caffeine.
-Nothing says holiday like disembodied babies. -SPADE: Yeah. -FEIMSTER: Mm.
-Let’s make Christmas ornaments -out of disembodied babies.
-SPADE: Yeah, it’s pretty fun. Well, Halloween’s
the one time of year that you can pretend
to murder people. Why would they
take this away from them? -Look at that Cabbage Patch.
-The Cabbage Patch just… stumbled into the wrong party. -Yeah. -WOLF: But in Utah,
I would have thought you would have seen
just a front yard with a dude having sex
with nine wives. -You know what I mean?
-SPADE: Yeah. That seems like the way to… (laughing):
Yeah. Yeah. Do you know who else dismem… dis… uh, members people? -The Mob. Yeah, The Mob.
-The M… the Mafia. (laughter, cheering, applause) Oh, it was right there
for it, yeah. (applause) SPADE: All right,
we’ll buzz through this one. Futurist researchers–
sounds like a fake job– uh, they’ve created
a life-sized model of what office workers
will look like in 20 years because
of carpal tunnel syndrome and hours of sitting. This is Emma… in the future. -Say hi.
-HALE: Hi, Emma. SPADE:
She looks like shit. There’s… Look-it,
on the bright side, in 20 years
sexual harassment will be gone. (laughter) Yo. I smoke way too much weed to have that thing
walking around the office. Are you telling me in the future
every worker’s gonna look like Winona Ryder
if she never got famous? -Are you kidding me right now?
-SPADE: Rude. Rude. She looks like she’s the girl
that, uh, microwaves fish. -(laughter)
-Hey, that’s-that’s my halibut. Why… why does her ankle
have a wrinkle? -That’s terrible.
-‘Cause she’s working! I just hope that
they have Queer Eye -in 20 years.
-(laughter) I think she was in U…
that Utah Halloween yard. Oh, yeah, she was! She should go in the yard–
she’d blend in better. But why…
why in the future is there… why is her neck so far forward? -I don’t understand.
-‘Cause she’s been hunched over. Hunched over what?
What is happening? -Oh, a desk?
-So you can put a beer on it -when you get a B.J.!
-(laughter) -Yes, that’s…
-Oh! Yeah, switch to Dice Clay… All right, you guys, thanks.
I think we did enough. -FEIMSTER: We did it!
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