The Cure For Acne and Everything

The Cure For Acne and Everything


Craig:
[laughs] Memes. Oh, hey.
[singing rug] You clicked on my video. Out of all the places you could have clicked. I honestly didn’t think you were gonna show up today. Huh, I guess I’ll put in some effort. [clears throat] Yeah, cancel my 2:00 o’clock. I know it’s my massage, combine it with my mani-pedi. Yes, you have to do both! You have two hands. Bye, dad. It’s so hard to be born into good help these days. I feel sorry for my daughter. Anyway… welcome. [Wheezy beard intro] Yes, I have a little bit of acne and yes, I’m 37 years old and apparently acne is a lifelong problem. And yes, I’m made Dermatologist Clone to help me out, but it turns out my insurance doesn’t cover it and it doesn’t cover it for him either. To be a dermatologist who can’t even dermatologe himself. That’s a bad situation. Luckily, I’ve come up with a solution. It’s the same solution I use for my male pattern baldness and it’s cutting-edge stuff. It involves a new science called Dermatological Optimizational Neutralizing Trichology CARE If we must shorten it, because we live in a fast food culture D.O.N.T. CARE. Now, D.O.N.T. CARE doesn’t come easy. This is a result of ”years” of trial and error. But you can study at home. If you’re suffering from things such as acne or baldness or any other natural processes that you seemingly have little control over, here’s what you do. You look into a mirror and you go “Eh.” If it helps, you can get really close and go “Nah.” I feel like the problem is going away already. Now, it’s important to not overdo your treatment because you may form what we call a Cyclical Psychological Gesture Network. Again, for all you time savers out there, we’ve shortened it to Cynical Gerk. Symptoms of Cynical Gerk include saying things like “This sushi is not the best sushi I’ve ever had.” Or “Infinity war, more like infinity snore.” If you’re inflicted with this, it’s really unfortunate and probably harder to cure than the original problem. One of the only non cures is a Bellicose Detoxical Treatment. Or Belli Tical.
[“Belli Tical Treatment”] [giggles from self-tickling belly] Someone I know who is deeply inflicted with Cynical Gerk is Craig with a Wig. Let’s see if we can cure him. [squeak, squeak] [a lot more squeaking] [wood creaking sounds] Craig with a Wig:
Charles Darwin once theorized that tickling provokes laughter through the anticipation of pleasure. The only thing I anticipate is… [deep breath] the infinite chasm of finality and vacuousness. [Craig with a Wig theme]
It’s Craigity-Craig, Craig with a Wig. [piano note] Just a word of caution, don’t actually belly tickle anyone you think is being cynical without their consent. Which you probably won’t get or maybe I’m just being cynical. It takes years of study to be a bellicose ditajian. I’m only past the first semester and we’ve barely even tapped into fangled gyration. But if you’ve learned anything from this video, it should be… “Meh.” If you liked this video, congratulations on your weird taste. You can click that like button to let me know as such. And consider subscribing. Don’t be like everybody else. And you can support me on Patreon right there, where you can get a minute-long banjo face once a month. And a livestream, bloopers and outtakes, and my favorite, other stuff. Wheezy Waiter, more like wheezy waiter… …d. *wink*
[subtitles by the Wheezy Waiter Wiki team]

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